Back to Reality

Thanksgiving weekend is over, and now it's time for reality to set back in. My mom flew home bright and early this morning (like before the sun came up). Alana woke up to find her Grammy gone, and that brought on the waterworks. It's always nice to have her here, but it's always insanely difficult to see her go. It's sad enough for me, but when I see Alana's little lip quivering...forget it! We braved Black Friday--well, sort of. No waking up at 4 a.m. or anything, even though Angie tried! Apparently all that tryptophan hadn't worn off yet and I slept right through her text message. By the time we got to Target, the 2 things I had wanted to buy were no longer there...but no big deal. It was a fun time spent with my mom and Alana. We pretty much decided that Thanksgiving had not really seemed like Thanksgiving at all, because let's face it...it's all about the food and the traditions. We enjoyed our time aboard the Ike, but we wanted to eat the staples. For me, it was the green bean casserole. So my mom made us a pork roast (we'd had our fair share of turkey already) along with all the fixins. Saturday we just kinda took it easy. I said it before, but I am really thankful for my life and everything that it is. Now I need to catch up on some sleep...I did, after all, wake up at 5 a.m. to drive my mom to the airport. Wahhhhh :)

Peace, Love and Weekend Reviews

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Happy Turkey Day to everyone! It was officially time for a blog makeover, for the holidays are here...I hope everyone had a great day with food, family and maybe even football :) Our day started off with breakfast at Cracker Barrel, so I knew it would be a good one. Justin had duty today and Jeremy had to work, so we invited Angie and Jalen to come eat with us this morning. I was glad they did, because I love them to pieces! The kids were much better behaved than the last time we took them there--when they were both hungry, tired and sick haha.

Grammy, Alana and her new teddy bear "Kara"

The Three Musketeers!

So after breakfast, we took a trip to Walmart...scary, I know. Then we came home for a few hours until Justin's watch was over. He can't leave the ship until tomorrow morning after his muster, so we went to him. It was definitely an experience, having Thanksgiving dinner on an aircraft carrier! When we got there, he was in his dress blues (possibly the first time I've ever seen him in them)...so my mom had to take lots of pictures while it lasted :)

The Portas Family :)

My mom wanted to take this picture of Justin "working"

Me and Alana, "cheesing" for the camera while waiting for Justin

Justin, Grammy and Alana

So Justin took us to his office and then went to change. Then it was on to the grub! His friend Tico ate dinner with us...It was nice to finally meet him because I hear a lot about him. He is really sweet, too.

Tico, Justin, Alana and Grammy

The food was alright, but this day was more about the experience than the food haha. We got there when they were trying to clean up. I must say that I feel bad for those sailors that ate there because they didn't have another place to eat!

Justin and me
Can you believe how beautiful the sky is?!

On our way home from the ship, we stopped by Angie's house...She had made us this amazing pumpkin roll. I can't even tell you how yummy it is. I had to thank her for causing me to gain back the 5 lbs or so I've lost with one bite of rich goodness!

I'm thankful. I'm thankful that I have such an amazing family and friends...I'm thankful that I have a warm place to sleep tonight, 'cause it's COLD outside right now...I'm thankful for love in my life...I'm thankful that we live in a free country, and for my husband who helps fight for that freedom. I'm thankful for SO much. I thank You, God, for blessing my life with so very much.

Peace, Love and Deciding whether or not to brave Black Friday xo

Randomness at it's Best

Sorry for my lack of posts lately...Not that I haven't been posting, but just not as regularly as I once was :) I'm sure there is no love lost or anything like that! So the holiday season is officially upon us! My mom will be flying into Norfolk first thing in the morning so we can get our Thanksgiving on...or something like that. Last night, while I was putting up our tree (yes, Lindsay I did it--while listening to RK's Christmas album haha), Chris Bradford came over and brought little Macie...whom I might add is not so little anymore.

Macie and Alana

Now you might be wondering why Alana is holding her...or better yet, why she is giving me this borderline evil look. Well, the truth is that she would not come near me haha. I must give off bad vibes or something. As soon as Chris handed her to me, she started bawling. I thought there must be something wrong with this kid to choose Chris over me...but then again, I guess he IS her daddy. Then Justin got home, and just as I had suspected...Macie went right to him with no problem. Chris tried to get her to go to me again and guess what? Yep, she flipped out. Apparently, she forgot about the time I went and stayed with her and she didn't cry at all...Now that she's "older" I guess she has decided to form her own opinion about me. And it's not a good one.

I tried to get some pictures of Alana with our Charlie Brown Christmas tree, but these are what I got...The tree was without the candy canes and icicles anyway. I'm sure there will be more pictures of that to come!

For those of you going out of town this week for Turkey day, be safe! Everyone be thankful for what God has given you...even if it is a knack for making babies scream!

Peace, Love and HUGE Complexes

Happy Birthday, Daddy/Papa!

Today is my dad's birthday! Happy birthday, Daddy! And furthermore, happy birthday, Papa! :) We wish we lived closer so that we could celebrate today with you...especially if it involves eating cake! I know I've been blessed with having such an amazing dad...someone that I know I can always count on. And now you are such a super Papa, too! I couldn't ask for more...







Here's to hoping you have the best birthday ever!!! Happy Birthday, and many many more! We love you SO much!!! xoxoxoxo

Snowing!

I looked out my bedroom window this morning, expecting to see rain...and much to my surprise it was SNOW instead! Nothing accumulating, but it's still crazy to see snow so early! The guys are supposed to be pulling in today, so let's pray that this snow thing doesn't keep them away like the fog did. And I'm pretty sure Justin will be home for a while now...So yay for that :)

Peace, Love and Flurries

Putting it Back Together

Alana got her hair cut today...But that's not really what this post is about :) You can't really see it, but Alana is wearing a necklace in this picture...I'm not sure who gave it to her (and neither is she)...she just knows that today it's her favorite piece of jewelry. Somewhere between video-chatting with the Millers and going to take movies back, it broke...and when I say broke, I mean beads and more beads everywhere. I quickly said, "It's ok, it's ok" and she was quick in replying back with "NO IT'S NOT!!!"

Flashback to Sunday morning at church. I've missed 2 services, because I was either in KidLife changing diapers or in the ER trying to keep my child sane. This week I was extremely happy to be able to go and worship. Pastor Fred used this illustration about one of his kids breaking a coffee mug that was special, and I remembered today what he told him. He told them he could fix it...he is the father that puts the pieces back together.

And just like that, Alana and I collected every last one of the beads...the pink ones AND the shiny silver ones. I threaded each one back on, one at a time...counting them so that they were in the correct pattern. Six pink, one silver, Seven pink, one silver, Six pink, and so on...It was tricky but I managed to get them all back on. I had to leave a few off so I could tie it again, and even that proved itself quite difficult. When I was done, I looked up and saw the smile on Alana's face, where there had so recently been tears. I told her that if she broke it again I wouldn't fix it, but who am I kidding--we know I would. That's what moms do!


It's funny, because had Pastor Fred not used that illustration on Sunday I might have just called it a loss and thrown the beads in the trash. But instead as I patiently (ok, semi-patiently) put each bead back onto the string, I thought of how patient God must be. I just have one child. He has so many...and He is constantly having to put our pieces back together...one by one...How amazing is that?! When life gets us down, we can rest assured that God knows how to get things back the way they should be...and He can do it without leaving off anything!

Peace, Love and Sermon notes

My First "Check"

I am happy to be able to finally post these, because it means that Justin is home. He's been home for about 10 minutes...but he's showering and then it will be camp-out time with Alana. This is a tradition. So I can steal away a few minutes to post a blog about what I've been doing while he's been gone--other than caring for a sick child and trying to keep myself well. On my "list" I wrote that I wanted to clean out our spare room (aka Daddy's room). It was SO full of clutter on a ridiculous level. There were boxes in there that were still in there unpacked from when we moved in August of last year! It is an extra room, no one lives in there...but what's the point of having wasted space. Plus, I watched Oprah the other day and she said that if your house is cluttered, so will your life be...or something like that :) I also decided to add some color to our room. Justin often says that we need some color in our house...not sure this is exactly what he had in mind, but he loves it and said it makes the room so peaceful. So here it is!

The blue is actually darker than it looks here :)

Live Well, Love Much, Laugh Often

That orb is throwing off the feng shui (or is it the tv, Mom?)

The spare room
(Trust me, there was no floor space on this whole wall or behind the chair!)

Spare Room from the other angle.

Ok, so I guess that's the first thing I get to check off my list! Woohoo! Now I'm going to go spend some time with my hubby and Alana. We have to take advantage of the day and a half we have together...Tonight, we are going to eat at Friday's with the McKinneys for a "going away" dinner for Andrea :(

I almost forgot, but I fixed our bed, too!!! We've been dealing with a flimsy frame for about a year now, and all it took for me to fix it was about 30 cents worth of nuts and bolts from Lowe's. Gotta love it!

Peace, Love and Renovations

Fog Schmog

These are the faces of two very sad girls. We have been waiting ALL day to see Justin...and we just found out about 10 minutes ago that he isn't coming home today after all. Apparently it's super foggy out there and not safe for them to pull in. Try explaining this to a 4 year old though. A 4 year old who's had her heart set on going to see Madagascar 2 as soon as Daddy got home. I've even heard whispers that they might just stay out til next week (they were only going to be home until Monday anyway). Please pray that it's not true and my hubby will be here to drag us out of bed in the morning!

Peace, Love and Stupid weather conditions

Finding Comfort in Him

I woke this morning from a dream that seemed to last all night. I don't remember much of what it was about, but I do remember who was in it. It was this darling boy with big blue eyes, Luke Knauss! For those of you who know Luke, you already know how easy he is to love. The way he smiles could melt the hearts of even the most stone-cold souls! For those of you who are clueless, he is the youngest son of some of my dearest friends, Marc and Melissa. By the time I got downstairs this morning and turned on my computer (the way I start most everyday, at least when Justin is gone) I had an email saying Luke's CarePage had been updated...It hasn't been updated in a while, so I was quite interested to see what it said. It's one of those things that you have to be invited to read, but I got permission from Melissa to post what she wrote:

Hello all!

Here is the long awaited next chapter in the Luke Knauss story. Back in July Luke met with a Neurosurgeon and Plastic Surgeon regarding surgery on his head for what is called a “Cranial Vault Expansion” to enlarge the small head he has as a result of his brain injury. The surgery was all scheduled and ready to get underway when his Neurosurgeon got deployed to Iraq. This left us needing to start from scratch and it was now September. We met with a new Neurosurgeon on at Naval Medical Center Portsmouth (NMCP) in VA and again he recommended surgery but it would seem that the surgery would happen just before the end of the year and we knew that we’d be moving back to Washington State in early 2009 when Marc plans to get out of the Navy. Marc and I prayed long and hard and consulted with the medical staff at NMCP and we came to the conclusion that it would be best for Luke if the boys and I moved back to Washington to have the surgery started and finished in the same location.

On October 1st the boys and I arrived in WA. Marc stayed back in Virginia and moved back onto the ship until his service obligation is over. After a couple weeks, Luke had a consult at Children’s Hospital…they denied his surgery. “It’s too dangerous”, “it’s not worth the risk”, “it’d be more cosmetic than medically necessary”. I was flabbergasted to say the least. I had never expected for an instant that it would be denied. I’d never heard the slightest hesitation from the three docs who recommended the surgery at NMCP. I MOVED across country WITHOUT my husband for this! My wonderful husband was thousands of miles away for no good reason!

A second opinion was recommended and that appointment was set up for a month later. At first my prayers were pleas to God to change the minds of the doctors to allow the surgery. I scoured Luke’s medical record for the reports from the doctors who had recommended the surgery and highlighted “the good stuff”. Every day I pleaded with the Lord and hoped that the second opinion would be different. About a week before Luke’s second opinion my prayers intensified and as they did I finally surrendered. “Lord let Your will be done” became my new plea. What if the Lord had been protecting Luke all this time: the Neurosurgeon getting deployed, the denial here at Children’s, what if my selfish pleas were answered and I got what I wanted but it wasn’t the will of God? What if it was a disaster?

The day of the second opinion came. I felt calm and relaxed…not anxious and excited like the first appointment at Children’s. I had my binder with Luke’s medical information in hand, with sections highlighted, but I knew that whatever happened was going to be God’s confirmation of His will, with or without my random data or the appeals to the doctors that I’d rehearsed 100 times in my head but knew I’d never speak of word of. In my back pocket I had a page ripped out of my journal from early July when I first prayed about Luke having surgery…I had scribbled comforting words that I felt the Holy Sprit speak to me.

“Cling to Me. I am in control regardless of what happens. I am healing him and protecting him. I will comfort you. I will be with you all the way. I have and will continue to keep him safe. He is destine to be a testimony to Me and there is no greater destiny than this. “

The doctor began by examining Luke’s head and then pulling up and explaining Luke’s various CT scans. I knew where it was going almost instantly. “I am healing him and protecting him.” My sprit recalled the words on the paper folded in my back pocket. The doctor went on to explain that even if they did the surgery, Luke’s brain had already done the bulk of it’s growing and that it would not fill the space created by the surgery. This could lead to infection caused by the excess spinal fluid that was forced to fill in the gap. Luke’s head would be extremely fragile after the surgery, forever (remember Luke has a brother who is three years older than him, I’m sure Luke is going to take a few footballs to the head in his lifetime). Most terrifying of all: The skull wants to be close to the brain, there is a good chance that the skull may collapse in order to restore its natural place! Wow! “I have and will continue to keep him safe.” I am SO glad Luke’s Neurosurgeon got deployed! What if we had stayed in VA and Luke had the surgery!? The surgery could have been fatal! What if I hadn’t submitted to the Lord and I actually got what I had been praying for? “Cling to Me.”

Luke will continue to be monitored by the Neurosurgery clinic at Children’s. When his about 7 years old they will evaluate him for implants for his forehead and cheekbones to make his face look broader. He wouldn’t have that surgery until after he turns 10. When his face is completely done growing they will evaluate him for implants to his jaw and “lower face”. He would have that surgery as an adult. Luke is a beautiful child. If you were to look at him now you’d only see his big blue eyes and great big smile, his golden ringlets, his eager excitement and his ready love.

So Luke may have a small head, it’s a strong, healthy head. So he might get teased. “He is destine to be a testimony to Me and there is no greater destiny than this.” He may also have those who read this pray that his head does grow, miraculously. The plates of his skull of still open, his head would still grow if his brain gained mass. Every day Luke’s life is a miracle, every day he does something THEY said he’d never do. Everyday I’m brought close to tears by the simple things he is able to do that most people take for granted. Why should this, why should Luke’s brain growing supernaturally be any different? Maybe you’ll ask someone else to pray for this miracle too. Maybe you or those you ask will be encouraged to pray for what seems impossible in your life…for what THEY say could never happen. “I will comfort you.”

I dreamed about Luke all night long, unknowingly. I said it was a coincidence, but we as believers know that it was not! I read these words that Melissa so graciously shared, and I felt completely empowered...That in the times in life that seem most dark and frustrating, she found peace--knowing that this was God's will for Luke's life all along. I am so proud to call Melissa my friend. She is one of the strongest women I know, and that strength comes from her faith in God. If only we could all be so trusting. She holds a special place in my heart, and I know that her confident prayers have also brought peace into my own life. I would like to ask that upon reading Luke's story, you would all take the time to pray for him. I know many of you already are. Pray that God will continue to perform miracles in this little boy's life...and also that God will bless as many lives with Luke's story as possible! I know he's touched mine...

Peace, Love and "unanswered" prayers xo

Fevers and Terrors

For those of you wondering, Alana's fever (knock on wood) has left the building. It stayed down most of the day yesterday, only spiking to 102.1 once mid afternoon...I gave her a dose of motrin and she's been good to go ever since! This morning she woke up and it was 97.8 WOOHOO, so I let her go to her gymnastics class. She's been begging to go, and considering how much better she was feeling I couldn't bring myself to say no. It has remained around 98.1 the rest of the day. I contribute it mostly to the popsicles she's been downing :)

Now if we can just get a handle on the night terrors...I think Angie's jinxing ability has rubbed off on me. I just got done telling my dad on Sunday that Alana hasn't had any night terrors since we were in FL...and how I can almost always call the nights she'll have them. Well, guess what? Last night, I spent about 30 minutes trying to calm my zombie-like, screaming child. It's frightening, but I guess I'm almost used to dealing with it now. The first time it happened I wasn't so calm. Usually she gets them when she's been go-go-going all day with no nap, and her brain doesn't slow down when she falls asleep. They start about an hour or two after she goes to sleep and last anywhere from 5 minutes to almost an hour! Her eyes will be open, but she sort of has a blank stare...I've found that when I try to hold her and comfort her, it makes it worse. She flails her arms and legs and I'm mostly concerned that she is going to end up injuring herself or ME for that matter :) She also acts like I'm a stranger or something. Eventually she goes back to sleep as if nothing happened, and she has no recollection of it in the morning. She's had the night terrors for about a year now...and I'm hoping we are nearing the end of this phase! Anyone who has any advice, feel free to share!

For now, I will embrace the fever-free, wide-awake child who is stomping around in her Snow White heels on the wood floor.

Peace, Love and Lessons in Parenthood

Sick Sunday

This is how we spent our Sunday morning. Not in church, where Alana would have loved to have been...We were holed up in the Portsmouth Naval hospital ER. Alana decided to run a fever up to 104.5 all night. Even Motrin and Tylenol couldn't bring it below 101. These pictures are small, because I took them on my phone. Note the transition of mood from when we first got there, til the time we saw the doctors:

Feeling good!

Yay, I'm at the hospital and they aren't giving me shots!

When can we go home?

This is ridiculous!

All those beeping sounds are giving me a headache!
(Yes, she was upside down in the bed at this point)

All in all, she was a trooper! She was most disappointed, not that she was in the hospital, but that she wasn't gonna get to go to church. She kept looking at the clock (she can't tell time) and saying "Mommy, I bet church is gonna get out soon they better hurry!" We didn't find out much, other than what it was not. They did a strep and urine culture and both came back negative. Her temp is still 103+! Apparently her throat is super red and irritated, but she hasn't complained so how would I know? Now we sit and wait...or sleep and wait. I like that one better!

Peace, Love and Rest (please)

My List

Now that the birthday hoorahs are over and done with, and Justin has shipped off to sea for another week I've decided to share a little something. Justin is the king of list-making. He carries a notebook and pen around with him everywhere he goes...and whether it's a thought, a new lyric for a song, a Bible verse, whatever, he writes it down. Among these random tidbits, though, are lists that he makes. I tend to love lists too, but only if I can successfully cross things off of them. So I came up with this idea and told Justin that we should each write a list (or two) of things that we wanted to accomplish. I kind of broke mine up into 2--one for what I want to finish by the end of 2008 and the other is more of a long term list. I'm not going to post the list in its entirety but I thought that as I accomplish them, I will "cross them off" by blogging about each one. Some things might not be that interesting. Some things are rather simple. Some things will take a lot of time and effort to complete. The point is I made a list. And most likely I will be adding to the list faster than I can cross things off...but that's ok too. I like to think of it as dreaming big...having high hopes :) I've started on one of the first things, and I will be sharing that here when the time comes. It's sort of a surprise for Justin, too...so I can't exactly post a picture and write about it here or he will see it before he gets home.

Until then.
Peace, Love and To-Do's

My Birthday, Part Dos

This, my friends, is what greeted me at my front door this afternoon. How sweet...Flowers, a cake, and most importantly ice cream! Oh no wait, that was second most important. MOST important was my handsome, most thoughtful husband!

This is a self-portrait...
Notice how half of Alana's head is chopped off!

The McKinneys plus Andrea came over to celebrate with us and help eat the cake and ice cream! It is Jeremy's birthday on Monday, so I thought we could have a joint party until I saw the cake said "I love you"...and that blew that out of the water :) I'm sure Justin does love Jeremy too, though haha.

I had 7 candles. Don't ask...Well you can ask, but ask Justin.

Andrea, Jeremy and Angie

I really had a great birthday this year! I think it's been the longest celebrated one so far anyway...I have the most amazing family and the best friends a person could ever ask for! Thank you all for being so great! Also, one of the biggest highlights of my day was when I got call from Mindy :) :) :) I've missed you, friend!

I'll leave you with another one of my highlights...seriously...moments like these are what makes life worth living! And all I can say is the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...


Peace, Love and Beatgirls xo

The Start of my 30th Year...

Happy Birthday to me! I know my mom for one is loathing the thought of me turning 29, but I get a kick out of telling her that today is the start of my 30th year of life! (Makes her feel older than it makes me feel) I am embracing it, because every birthday I have equals successful survival of yet another year :) We have been celebrating my birthday all week, really. It started on Saturday when I came home and saw this on the table...(Justin takes pride in the fact that his coloring is ALMOST as good as Alana's)

I didn't open them until Sunday after church! We had a "party" at the McKinneys. Jeremy made ribs and they were SO good! It was a day of fun and food and football, and most importantly friends!!!

Then yesterday, there was a knock on my front door...And to my surprise, came a cookie bouquet from my mom! Alana has already eaten one of these yummy treats, but mainly just the icing and not the actual cookie.
And then there's today...My actual birthday...



Thank you to all of you who have sent me birthday wishes and cards and gifts...I am a lucky girl, I mean old lady! And I'm sure the celebration is yet to be over!

Peace, Love and Lots of Candles xo

There are No Words

I've been struggling with what to write or whether to even write at all regarding yesterday's election. You know the old saying, "If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all"? While I smile at the great strides that the United States has made in electing our first African American president...I cry on the inside because of what he stands for (or doesn't). I am fearful of what this means for our future, especially when it comes to the military. I have family and friends who voted for Obama, and while I respect their right to vote for who they choose, I really hope that their decisions bring more than regret. There is no doubt our country is about to experience change. I just pray with every ounce of my being that the change is for the better. One thing brings me peace and that is knowing Who my Master is...and no election can change that!

Peace, Love and Hope xo

Pray

Update: I voted. I did. It was the easiest ballot I've ever cast :) It took all of 3 minutes! The first polls are closing now and I will most likely be glued to CNN for the remainder of the night!


I encourage everyone to take at least a minute today to pray for our country...not to pray for a certain candidate to be elected, just for the future of the United States. I know I'll be waiting in poll lines today!!!

God Bless the USA :)